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Why
should I be interested? |
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Mentoring
Couples
The purpose of mentoring couples is to help prepare
engaged couples and newly married couples for marriage by providing a
relational "forum" for open discussion and interaction and
offering the encouragement and insight of practical experience. |
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Coach
Couples
The purpose of the Coach Couples is to assist couples in
their understanding of their partner and to clarify each person's ideas
and attitudes toward various relationship areas. |
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Who is
eligible? |
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Mentoring
Couples
Any engaged couple where at least one person attends Grace
Church.
Any newly married couple attending Grace. |
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Coach
Couples
Any seriously dating couple
Any non-Grace engaged couple
Any non-Grace married couple |
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| 3 |
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How many times do we meet? |
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Mentoring
Couples
Generally three times. It may be more if everyone
concurs. |
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Coach
Couples
Usually once. |
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How long
is each time together? |
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Mentoring
Couples
Usually 60 to 90 minutes |
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Coach
Couples
Usually 60 to 90 minutes |
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What do we cover? |
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Mentoring
Couples
Three topics are recommended- expectations, roles and
conflict resolution. Other topics may be covered by the flow of the
dialogue or by request. Usually one topic is covered each time you
are together. |
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Coach
Couples
The FOCCUS relationship inventory is completed and the
results are discussed. |
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| 6 |
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What
relationship inventory do we take? |
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Mentoring
Couples
For Grace Church couples the PREPARE inventory is
completed. The Grace marrying pastor will discuss the results with
the engaged couple. For married couples the ENRICH tool may be
completed. Mentoring couples are aware of PREPARE but do not go over
the results. |
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Coach
Couples
The FOCCUS is a relationship inventory similar to
PREPARE. The instrument surveys feelings and thoughts about 19
different relationship areas. The inventory is designed to help
couples learn more about themselves and their unique relationship.
It is not a test nor meant to be a predictor of success or failure in
marriage. It is a tool to help couples name and work through issues
before marriage. |
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What are
the Guidlines? |
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Mentoring
Couples
All conversations are confidential. If you do not want
to talk about something, you are free to say "I pass". |
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Coach
Couples
All conversations are confidential. If you do not want
to talk about something, you are free to say "I pass". |
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| 8 |
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What can I expect? |
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Mentoring
Couples
Expect to feel uncomfortable at first. Deep sharing is
difficult for many people. Mentoring Couples are caring people and
your uneasy feeling will fade quickly. |
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Coach
Couples
Expect to feel uncomfortable at first. Deep sharing is
difficult for many people. Coach Couples are caring people and your
uneasy feeling will fade quickly. |
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| 9 |
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Where do
we meet? |
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Mentoring
Couples
Places of meeting are determined by mutual discussion.
It could be a home, apartment, restaurant, the church or any other
location suitable to significant conversation. |
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Coach
Couples
Places of meeting are determined by mutual discussion.
It could be a home, apartment, restaurant, the church or any other
location suitable to significant conversation. |
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| 10 |
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What this
relationship is. |
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Mentoring
Couples
Mentors share from their real life experience what has
worked and what has not in their own marriage. The mentor's marriage
is still growing.
Mentors may direct mentorees to helpful resources when needed or desired.
Mentors provide accountability by discussing some of the homework the
couple has completed.
Mentors lessen a mentorees's anxiety by normalizing experiences. |
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Coach
Couples
Coach Couples refer to the results of the FOCCUS to guide
the conversation.
Coach Couples facilitate the dialogue between the mentorees. (For
example "John, tell Linda what your thoughts were when you answered
question 7.")
Coach Couples may direct mentorees to helpful resources when needed or
desired.
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| 11 |
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What this
relationship is not. |
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Mentoring
Couples
A mentor is not a mother or a father.
This is not a counseling session.
This is not a teaching session.
This is not a long-term relationship. It may go beyond the three
sessions by mutual agreement.
A mentor does not give advice unless asked. |
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Coach
Couples
A mentor is not a mother or a father.
This is not a counseling session.
This is not a teaching session.
This is not a long-term relationship.
A Coach Couple does not give advice unless asked. |
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| 12 |
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How do I become involved? |
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Mentoring
Couples
During the class you will
put your name and phone number on a 3' x 5' card and write
"Mentoring Couple" at the top. Turn the card in to the
class coordinators or the mentoring couple coordinators. |
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Coach
Couples
During the class you will
put your name and phone number on a 3' x 5' card and write
"Coach Couple" at the top. Turn the card in to the class
coordinators or the mentoring couple coordinators. |
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13 |
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I don't go to Grace Church but I want a mentoring couple. |
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Instruction manuals are available for mentoring couples from
other churches. You would find a mentoring couple from your church
and the Grace Church class coordinators would contact them about the
details. |
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