Mentoring Couples

What is mentoring?

Mentoring is a relational forum where a more experienced couple comes along side a less experienced couple to discuss the marriage journey.

Mentors

In the class, Marriage: The Journey Begins, there are two types of mentors. Since 1993 we have utilized the traditional mentors known as “Mentoring Couples”. In 2000 we added a second category of mentors known as “Coach Couples”. The differences between the two are described by clicking the link below.

Why should I be interested?

Mentoring Couples
The purpose of Mentoring Couples is to help prepare engaged couples and newly married couples for marriage by providing a relational "forum" for open discussion and interaction and offering the encouragement and insight of practical experience.

Coach Couples
The purpose of the Coach Couples is to assist couples in their understanding of their partner and to clarify each person's ideas and attitudes toward various relationship areas.

Who is eligible?

Mentoring Couples
Any engaged couple where at least one person attends Grace Church.
Any newly married couple attending Grace.

Coach Couples
Any seriously dating couple
Any non-Grace engaged couple
Any non-Grace married couple

How many times do we meet?

Mentoring Couples
Generally three times. It may be more if everyone concurs.

Coach Couples
Usually once.

How long is each time together?

Mentoring Couples
Usually 60 to 90 minutes

Coach Couples
Usually 60 to 90 minutes

What do we cover?

Mentoring Couples
Three topics are recommended- expectations, roles and conflict resolution. Other topics may be covered by the flow of the dialogue or by request. Usually one topic is covered each time you are together.

Coach Couples
The FOCCUS relationship inventory is completed and the results are discussed.

What relationship inventory do we take?

Mentoring Couples
For Grace Church couples the PREPARE inventory is completed. The Grace marrying pastor will discuss the results with the engaged couple. For married couples the ENRICH tool may be completed. Mentoring couples are aware of PREPARE but do not go over the results.

Coach Couples
The FOCCUS is a relationship inventory similar to PREPARE. The instrument surveys feelings and thoughts about 19 different relationship areas. The inventory is designed to help couples learn more about themselves and their unique relationship. It is not a test nor meant to be a predictor of success or failure in marriage. It is a tool to help couples name and work through issues before marriage.

What are the Guidlines?

Mentoring Couples
All conversations are confidential. If you do not want to talk about something, you are free to say "I pass".

Coach Couples
All conversations are confidential. If you do not want to talk about something, you are free to say "I pass".

What can I expect?

Mentoring Couples
Expect to feel uncomfortable at first. Deep sharing is difficult for many people. Mentoring Couples are caring people and your uneasy feeling will fade quickly.

Coach Couples
Expect to feel uncomfortable at first. Deep sharing is difficult for many people. Coach Couples are caring people and your uneasy feeling will fade quickly.

Where do we meet?

Mentoring Couples
Places of meeting are determined by mutual discussion. It could be a home, apartment, restaurant, the church or any other location suitable to significant conversation.

Coach Couples
Places of meeting are determined by mutual discussion. It could be a home, apartment, restaurant, the church or any other location suitable to significant conversation.

What this relationship is.

Mentoring Couples
Mentors share from their real life experience what has worked and what has not in their own marriage. The mentor's marriage is still growing.
Mentors may direct mentorees to helpful resources when needed or desired.
Mentors provide accountability by discussing some of the homework the couple has completed.
Mentors lessen a mentorees's anxiety by normalizing experiences.

Coach Couples
Coach Couples refer to the results of the FOCCUS to guide the conversation.
Coach Couples facilitate the dialogue between the mentorees. (For example "John, tell Linda what your thoughts were when you answered question 7.")
Coach Couples may direct mentorees to helpful resources when needed or desired.

What this relationship is not.

Mentoring Couples
A mentor is not a mother or a father.
This is not a counseling session.
This is not a teaching session.
This is not a long-term relationship. It may go beyond the three sessions by mutual agreement.
A mentor does not give advice unless asked.

Coach Couples
A mentor is not a mother or a father.
This is not a counseling session.
This is not a teaching session.
This is not a long-term relationship.
A Coach Couple does not give advice unless asked.

How do I become involved?

Mentoring Couples
During the class you will put your name and phone number on a 3' x 5' card and write "Mentoring Couple" at the top. Turn the card in to the class coordinators or the mentoring couple coordinators.

Coach Couples
During the class you will put your name and phone number on a 3' x 5' card and write "Coach Couple" at the top. Turn the card in to the class coordinators or the mentoring couple coordinators.